Why do men always...

Yes, I know it's terribly boring to talk about a forum on a blog, or to talk about a blog on twitter, or to talk about twitter on a forum, or any of that.

I came across a number of threads today asking questions along the lines of "Why are men useless?" "Why do men never empty the bin?" "Why can't men multitask?"

To which my answers are no they aren't, yes they do, yes they can. Perhaps one man in your life is currently fulfilling your expectations of men as useless, but there is no reason at all to think that all or even most men are like this, and certainly no reason why they should be.

I want to emphasise that this kind of lazy generalisation is just as sexist and just as damaging to society and just as unhelpful to feminism as the traditional "Women can't park" or "Women don't understand politics". If you repeatedly tell people that they are bad at something it is likely to become the case. If you tell people that they are incapable of doing something when in fact they have not had the same opportunities to learn then you are a fool. If you say that men cannot do a task, you are claiming that task for women (and vice versa). Why is it that we want to claim bin-emptying, while men claim politics?

For those who want to say "oh but men can't multitask" or "everyone knows women have worse spatial awareness" I strongly recommend Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine (ignore the horrible cover). It's sociology/neuroscience/behavioural psychology applied to gender differences and it manages to be very entertaining. A couple of key experiments: men do better at empathy tasks after reading that men who are empathetic get more girls; women do worse in maths tests if you remind them that they are women and women are expected to do worse than men.

Apparently it's Feminist Friday.

So I should write something feministy.

I am a feminist. Obviously. So are you, probably.

Here's a handy cosmo-style quiz to help out:

1 - Do you think that how people are treated, valued, and respected should be equal, regardless of their gender?
a Yes, of course
b No, people like ME should be treated better than people who are not like me
c No, people like me should get less good treatment

2 - Do you think that people generally are treated, valued, and respected equally, regardless of their gender?
a Yeah, pretty much
b Not completely
c Not at all and I am ANGRY about it

3 - Assuming you answered #2 correctly - do you want this to change?
a Yes, of course
b I told you, I like things being unequal
c Yes, and I try to make it happen wherever I can

Answers:
1
a - Correct, this is an essential point
b - That's not very nice, is it?
c - You need to work on your self-esteem until you switch your answer to a

2
a - Maybe you should look around a little more, because they aren't
b - This is also a key realisation - you don't need to be angry, just aware...
c - ...Although the more you think about it and look around and see sexism the more likely it is that you will become angry (sorry)

3
a - Congratulations, you are a feminist
b - Sounds like you are sexist, well happily for you the world is too. Enjoy it.
c - You're a feminist too, but you already knew that

I am older and wiser now

Last night at the gym (actually on the way back) my ipod decided to play me Avril Lavigne's "Nobody's Fool" (apologies, couldn't find an official video), followed by Blink 182 "What's My Age Again?"

I might've fallen for that when I was fourteen
And a little more green
But it's amazing what a couple of years can mean

Clearly Avril at 16/17 felt that she was much more worldly-wise than she was at 14.



Nobody likes you when you're 23
...
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?

And this guy is being accused of acting too childishly for the grand old age of 23.

It made me think that there is only a very small window in your life where you can seriously say Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen (Katie Melua "Closest Thing to Crazy") before you scoff that 22 and 17 are so close together you can barely remember the difference.

It also reminded me of Stuart Baggs (of Apprentice 2010) in his "You're Fired" follow-up interview, claiming to be much more mature than he had been during the filming of the series. Either the presenter or another guest mocked him, saying "oh yes, now you;re 22 you're much more grown-up than when you were 21." (this part is from memory)

So at what point does it stop? Is there a time when we stop looking back on how we've grown?
When I was 20 I was naive, but now I'm much more wise.

When I was 30 I was idealistic, but now I'm much more pragmatic.
When I was 40... when I was 50... when I was 60... I was <adjective>, but now I'm much more <opposite adjective>.

Sorry for the absence

Been quiet recently, because I'm well aware that there could be "real life people" reading this, and the main thing I've been thinking about is the fact that I'm going to be changing jobs, which I wasn't ready to tell everyone about.

If you are one if those RL people, by the way, feel free to keep quiet about it. I know intellectually that I don't do the best job of anonymising, but I prefer to think that I am talking to Internet sprites who only know the virtual me. 

I don't usually capitalise Internet. I'm writing this on my phone in the doctor's waiting room. They have restored the magazines that were for a while banned on germ-spreading grounds, but in the meantime I have discovered other forms of entertainment. I have also decided that I agree and old magazines that have been handled by ill people are a bit yuck. Dentists surgeries are ok, because everyone is extra clean when they go to the dentist (and unlikely to have a caold, becausse can you imagine the horror?).